The Lord Remains Faithful

The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever – do not abandon the works of your hands.
Psalm 138:8

A week ago today, I came home from a writing retreat. I cried most of the way home. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to come home. It was more that I didn’t want to leave the wonder of that creative and sacred experience. I didn’t want to come down off  ’the mountain top’, where I had found inspiration and renewal.

I’ve hugged the memories close and savored them, sharing with the few who would truly understand how dear the experience was for me. This isn’t my story. It’s God’s story. I’m just the flawed writer He chose to bless.

******

With a deadline looming, Old Roady was okay with me taking some of our timeshare points and getting away to write. With the winter weather, I’d hoped to be close to home, as in, just down Route 1 a few miles. But on such short notice, there was nothing available in Rhode Island. We found a studio with a partial kitchenette for six days in Falmouth, Massachusetts.

Then Nemo – The Blizzard of 2013 – blew across the region on February 8th.

Blizzard of 2013

Four days later I received a phone call. The resort in Falmouth was unable to accommodate the reservations for folks checking in.

Wish I could say I was calm about this. I wasn’t. The lovely woman from the timeshare clearinghouse was kind enough to help me look for an alternative. But throughout all of RI, CT and MA, she found only one other place. It, too, was in Falmouth and for only three nights. She would call to see if they were taking ‘inbounds’.

At this point, I prayed – finally. And the prayer was pretty sketchy. Mostly disconnected thoughts flung heavenward. But God is good. No. God is AMAZING. Because even when I’m not at my best, He remains faithful and continues to work out HIS PLAN for me.

The lovely lady (I wish I could remember her name.) called me back. The other place in Falmouth was available. Would I like it? That’s when I told her what I needed – a quiet place away from daily duties and distractions so I could concentrate on writing.

She giggled and then said, “Oh. Wait. Something just popped up! Is Rhode Island okay?”

“Yes.” I held my breath, because there are no coincidences. Only God-incidences.

“Long Wharf in Newport. Sunday to Sunday. Would that be alright?”

I barely heard her over the pounding of my heart. “Yes. How many nights?”

“Sunday to Sunday.”

“The whole week?” One more day than I would have had in Falmouth.

“Yes. It’s a one bedroom condo with a full kitchen. And since it’s a swap, you get it for the same number of points as Falmouth. It’s usually twice as many.”

I think God loves surprises because every step of the way, the trip only got better.

On check-in, I found out the Inn was going through renovations. Only the fifth floor was open and I was the first to use the completely renovated condo.

Long Wharf Resort

Within hours of checking in, God painted the sky for me.

Sunset over Long Wharf

Newport fishing fleet and lobster boats

I emptied my schedule and let go of all that fights for my attention. I made room for God to come in and fill the empty space.  

I was needy and my heart was willing. 

How often am I unwilling? How often do I fill my time with everything but what God desires for me?

A Room With A View

I was on Holy ground.  My writing, an offering.

God blessed me abundantly with time and words. 

The empty computer screen filled, line after line. How many times in the past have I been afraid the words wouldn’t come? Why can’t I trust like this every day? 

Will I remember?
On the days that nothing comes easy, will I open up and be uncomfortably empty so He can fill me?

Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob,
whose hope is in the Lord his God,
the Maker of heaven and earth,
the sea, and everything in them -
the Lord, who remains faithful forever.
Psalm 146:5-6

In the Potter’s Hand

… can I not do with you as this potter does? declares the Lord. Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand…  Jeremiah 18:6

I’m on the Potter’s wheel.
Some days spinning until I’m dizzy and disoriented.
Other days, due to a flaw that needs correcting, I am mushed into a lump.
The reshaping isn’t easy.
More spinning… more prodding and pressure.
I wanted to be a teacup.
But my dream was imperfect.

The Potter has a different plan.

So much clay… so much spinning…
Trusting his skilled hands to create something more beautiful than I can imagine.

Chasing Your God-sized Dream with the Focus of an Olympian.

Do you have a dream that calls to you in the quiet hours? That something that God has planted in your heart that only you can do in your unique way?

To pursue that dream that is bigger than anything you are capable of today will require herculean effort. It will take living with purpose, passion and perseverance. Expect to make sacrifices, always believing that with God’s help anything is possible. He is the Giver of Dreams, as well as the Helper and the Strength to see that what he has begun in you will be finished.

Go for the prize more precious than gold — the destiny God has planned for you and the joy of knowing you have accomplished his will for your life.

1 Corinthians 9:24-27
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize. (NIV)

Bad Prayer Days

We’ve all had them. Days when the roof over our head feels like a concrete slab that nothing will penetrate. We feel as though our prayers are a gray cloud floating above our head, never reaching God’s ear. Isn’t the evidence all around us? God hasn’t heard. Nothing has changed. We are dealing with the same trials today that we dealt with yesterday.

Life is messy.

Messy relationships. Messy houses. Messy office politics. Messy desks. Messy creative spaces where the muse refuses to come out and play for fear of being tainted by our messy life.

Life is hard.

Photo source: Wikipedia

Jobs lost.
Homes consumed by fire or flood.
People we love hurting… ill… taken from this earth to early….

We’re tired. Worn out. Unheard.

Our lament is like that of Jeremiah, the weeping prophet. Even when I call out or cry for help, he shuts out my prayer. Lamentations 3:8

It’s so hard to remember that these feelings have nothing to do with reality. No matter how thick the ceiling or heavy the cloud above us, God hears. God is at work.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:8-9

We can’t comprehend God’s logic or timing. He is God. And we are not.

This one week. Two dads. Two diagnoses. Too many questions. Too many uncertainties. For me. But not for my God.

Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, ‘The Lord is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.’

The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the Lord.
Lamentations 3:21-26 

Waiting.
Hoping.
Seeking.

Praying. Even when praying is hard.
Because I can’t find the words.
Because the words I have are painful and colored with fear and anger.
Towards Him – my omnipotent, unchanging God.
Who is big enough to take my anger and offer me life-giving love in return.
My Abba Father – who sees my bad prayer days and instead of a temporary fix,
offers me his Son and all eternity.

A Week Neither Here Nor There

Goodbye, 2011

This week – between Christmas and New Year’s Day – has been a time of reflection and anticipation. Other than an attempt to bring the house back into the realm of everyday reality, I’ve passed the time seesawing between the memories of the past 360+ days and the untouched, yet-to-be-lived future. A week stuck in limbo.

Thankfully, there were no huge disappointments or heartaches in 2011. For that I praise God. And I can say the same for goals met and happy memories made – no BIG news or life-changing events. Just… life.

Messy. Wonderful. Confusing. Laughable. Blessed.

That’s my life.

A part of me hopes the new year will remain much like 2011 – no losses, no heartache. While another part of me gets all breathless with the possibilities of a fresh beginning. A clean slate.

What will 2012 hold for me? For my family? For my friends? For my nation?

Pondering the answers to this question, fills me with excitement sometimes, and with dread at other times. Because life is like that. It hands out happiness by the bushel, and heartache by the truckload.

But this I know – whatever comes my way in this new year – happiness or sadness, laughter or discouragement, wellness or illness – God is in control.

He is in all of it. The messy. The loving. The confusing. The hurting. The blessings.

He’s there in each moment, waiting.

For me.

To seek Him out. To lean on Him.

He is there to walk with me.

He knows the way.

He knows my needs.

He knows.

Because each moment I live, every thing I experience, is part of His divine plan for me.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:11-13

The 1 Corinthians 13 of Christmas

If I decorate my house with beautiful bows, strands of twinkling lights and shiny baubles, but do not show love to my family, I’m just another decorator.

If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of mince pies, roasting a perfect turkey, and lay a magnificent table, but have no love for my guests, I am just another cook.

If I work at the soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home, and give all that I have to charity, but do not have compassion in my heart for those in need, I am just another social service; it profits me nothing.

If I decorate the tree with shimmering angels and crocheted snowflakes and attend a myriad of holiday parties but do not focus on Christ, I have missed the point.

Love stops the cooking to hug the child. Love sets aside the decorating to help one’s wife with boring housework. Love puts the Christmas present shopping on hold in order to run the elderly neighbour to the doctor. Love is kind, though harried and tired. Love doesn’t envy another’s home that has more expensive presents, or even coordinated Christmas china and table linen. Love doesn’t yell at the children to get out of the way; love is glad that they are there to be in the way. Love doesn’t give only to those who are able to give in return, but rejoices in giving to those who can’t.

Love bears all things, even irritating relatives. It believes all things, and encourages teenagers to aim high for their future. It hopes all things, endures all things, even a spouse who is depressed about their job prospects. Love never fails other people. Computer games will crash, even cashmere jumpers will wear out, and golf clubs will get lost. But the gift of love will endure forever. Happy Christmas!

I first read the above article in the Broxbourne with Wormley Parish Magazine that an English friend puts together for her church. The article originally came from a paper called The Church News Service, which is not available here in the United States.

Psalm 100

Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth.
Worship the Lord with gladness;
come before him with joyful songs.
Know that the Lord is God.
It is he who made us, and we are his;
we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.
Enter his gates with thanksgiving
and his courts with praise;
give thanks to him and praise his name.
For the Lord is good and his love endures forever;
his faithfulness continues through all generations.

Wishing you a healthy and happy Thanksgiving day.

Life is a Gift

A reminder to slow down and savor the beauty of fall.

To live in the present.

And thank God for each precious moment.

Dressed For Battle

Photo credit: Galdo Trouchky

The apostle Paul used the armor of the Roman soldiers assigned to guard him to illustrate a spiritual truth: the followers of Jesus do not battle “against flesh and blood” but “against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realm”. As a follower of Christ I’m to put on my battle dress uniform. But when was the last time I made sure my BDU was combat ready? Would I pass inspection?

The Belt of Truth: The foundation that holds my weaponry. In this spiritual battle, Jesus is ‘the way and the truth’. To win the battle, I need to be anchored in the truth found in God’s Word. Have I fallen victim to any of Satan’s lies? God can’t use someone like you. Is my belt a little loose? Your dream is impossible. Cinching the belt one notch tighter.

The Breastplate of Righteousness: Protection for my vital organs in close combat. The breastplate guards my heart. I’m pure and holy protected under the blood of Christ. Hmmm, my breastplate is in need of polishing so my actions will be pleasing to my Heavenly Father.

The Shoes of Readiness and Peace. Uh-0h. My boot lace is untied. Not exactly ready am I. The peace of Christ isn’t the first thing folks notice about me when I’m hurried and harried and my attention isn’t centered on the Good News of the Gospel. Back to basics – boots laces tied and giving God control of the battle.

Shield of Faith: My only protection from flaming arrows. My shield, dinged and slightly bent, is too heavy for me to hold up. I’ve tried. Wasn’t pretty. Spiritual defeat never is. I need Jesus’ strength to fend off Satan’s fiery darts of deceit, denial and doubt. Am I willing to trust Jesus to be my Shield? He’s patiently waiting for me to decide…

Helmet of Salvation: Essential protection for my survival. It skews to the side now and then when the world offers a distraction and Satan fights for a stronghold in my thoughts. Focusing on the total deliverance that Jesus offers keeps my helmet strapped in place.

Sword of the Spirit: My weapon used for both defense and offense — the Living Word of God. My sword is a little dull. I remember some memory verses from childhood, but I haven’t been faithful in learning more as an adult. Fending off Satan’s razor-sharp dagger with my blunt sword makes the battle one-sided in the favor of the enemy. Time for sword drills with the verses I know and adding others to my arsenal.

“Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” Ephesians 6:14-17

Summer: Expectations vs Reality

Warm days. Family picnics. Juicy watermelon. Sand castles and body surfing. Lightening bugs and county fairs. Summer! I always have such high expectations for this short season. Can’t wait for summer! Where did the ideal I dream of come from? Beach blanket movies? The Beach Boys music? (Okay – so now you know my age.) A happy childhood perhaps? Building forts in the woods, digging quahogs in the salt pond, swinging in Gramma’s hammock are some of my summer memories. My responsibilities consisted of age appropriate chores and no other worry in the world.

Looking back from an adult perspective, I see what my kid-self missed. Daddy working full-time in the hot mill, plus an additional two or three other jobs to feed his growing brood. Mommy recording every penny she spent in a small account book. The worry over aging parents and sick kids. The loss of loved ones. Some of the same concerns and tragedies that have intruded on my adult summers and left me longing for the innocence of childhood.

This spring has been filled with news of floods, tornadoes, forest fires and earthquakes. National tragedy and personal loss have already made a mark on my summer – and it’s only just arrived! My heart goes out to all those who have lost homes, jobs and loved ones. Summer will not be idyllic for so many as they struggle to rebuild lives ravaged by accidents, wind and water.

In Out of the Wilderness, there’s the fun of a bonfire on the beach, swims in the ocean, a ride on the carousel, but the threat of tragedy weaves through the happy times. Just as in real life.

Real life. A patchwork of happy days and sad times. Days filled with highs and lows of every measure. The distance between my expectations for summer and the reality grows wider with each passing year. There is no returning to the blissful summer days of my early years. God’s plan for me was not to stay forever young.

He knew since my conception what every summer of my life would hold. Some would have more rainy days than sunshine. This year may unfold with winds as gentle as butterfly wings or as destructive as a hurricane. God never promised only good times, but He did promise to always be with me and help me through the difficult times. And therein lies the joy I can claim. Being present in each circumstance while drawing on God’s mercy and grace.

I can’t return to what summer ‘used to be’, but I can move forward confident in God’s grace. Drawing my strength from Him, I can handle what comes my way and know that because He is merciful, He will give me new happy memories along the way.

Watermelon, any one?

What are your happy memories of summer?

God is our refuge and our strength, a very present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand. Isaiah 41:10