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Bad Prayer Days

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We’ve all had them. Days when the roof over our head feels like a concrete slab that nothing will penetrate. We feel as though our prayers are a gray cloud floating above our head, never reaching God’s ear. Isn’t the evidence all around us? God hasn’t heard. Nothing has changed. We are dealing with the same trials today that we dealt with yesterday.

Life is messy.

Messy relationships. Messy houses. Messy office politics. Messy desks. Messy creative spaces where the muse refuses to come out and play for fear of being tainted by our messy life.

Life is hard.

Photo source: Wikipedia

Jobs lost.
Homes consumed by fire or flood.
People we love hurting… ill… taken from this earth to early….

We’re tired. Worn out. Unheard.

Our lament is like that of Jeremiah, the weeping prophet. Even when I call out or cry for help, he shuts out my prayer. Lamentations 3:8

It’s so hard to remember that these feelings have nothing to do with reality. No matter how thick the ceiling or heavy the cloud above us, God hears. God is at work.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:8-9

We can’t comprehend God’s logic or timing. He is God. And we are not.

This one week. Two dads. Two diagnoses. Too many questions. Too many uncertainties. For me. But not for my God.

Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, ‘The Lord is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.’

The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the Lord.
Lamentations 3:21-26 

Waiting.
Hoping.
Seeking.

Praying. Even when praying is hard.
Because I can’t find the words.
Because the words I have are painful and colored with fear and anger.
Towards Him – my omnipotent, unchanging God.
Who is big enough to take my anger and offer me life-giving love in return.
My Abba Father – who sees my bad prayer days and instead of a temporary fix,
offers me his Son and all eternity.

About anitakgreene

I write romantic adventure for the inspirational market. I enjoy needlework, papercrafting and gardening. I'm at home in the Ocean State with my husband, son and a spoiled Belgian Malinois.

8 responses »

  1. Thanks, Nita – you’re not alone in this “swamp” … thanks for the encouragement to not give up, but wait for our Omnipresent God to show us His plan!!

    Reply
    • Some days, some weeks are just harder than others, aren’t they? And waiting for God to show us His plan might take… well… ALL ETERNITY! LOL Who has time to wait that long? Oh… right… I do. Sometimes I forget I’m already living in eternity and this life is just a short achy-breakey chapter in my eternal story.

      Reply
  2. My day was a little difficult and the waiting will be hard, too. Your in my prayers Anita.

    Reply
  3. Prayer is the hardest thing for me to do. I can read and comprehend and come away with a message, but I’m SO distracted praying. I’m the ADD pray-er, for some reason. I remember a prayer day at our church a few years back. I think it was two hour blocks. It was so difficult. I picked up a bible and started reading it – that’s where I find solace.

    Reply
    • mj, I’m the same way. Drifting is so easy to do. When my mind begins to wander, I start praying aloud. Actually saying the words helps keep me focused. I usually pray during my early morning walk, so I’m in an environment where no one knows or cares that I’m ‘talking to myself’.

      Reply

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